Ashes and Wine
by SVUobsessor
Summary: Olivia and Elliot get into a conversation about trust. Which one of them isn't truthful. Will they still have a friendship after the conversation? Rated mature because I have no idea where this is going to go.
1. Hurt Like Me

**Named after the song, Ashes and Wine, by a Fine Frenzy. **

Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

Ashes and Wine

Chapter 1

Hurt Like Me

* * *

"Is there a chance, a fragment of light at the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight? Is there a chance you may change your mind, or are we ashes and wine?"

-A Fine Frenzy

* * *

He had contemplated it for years, whether to tell her or not. He was coming to a realization, he needed to tell her. She was the woman of his dream, who he loved, didn't she deserve to know?

She was always in his mind. She was like a permanent tumor, stuck in his brain.

He wanted to tell her his secret, but he didn't know how. What would her reaction be? Would she be mad, sad, angry?

He started to think about something else. He had two secrets, one was his feelings about her, and the other was his deepest darkest secret.

She was so serene to him. The way she moved her pen across the paper. Actually, the way she did everything.

"Elliot!" Cragen's voice said, jerking him back to reality.

The captain's tone, made Elliot jump a bit. He spun around in his chair.

"Yeah captain?" Elliot asked

"I want you and Olivia to go stake-out the Johanson's place, and get your head out of the clouds." Cragen said sternly.

* * *

Olivia had her eyes trained on the house, she was starting to get restless. It was the most boring part of the job. She went for the easiest subject, his kids.

"How are the kids?" she asked knowing it was random but the quiet was killing her.

"They seem good." He stated, "I hardly see Maureen anymore though because she is in college. Kathleen, brings the twins around all the time, which is good because being in the same room with Kathy can get hostile."

"Yeah," Olivia agreed

"You tell me everything right?" Elliot asked

Olivia looked at him, and for some reason she found his question amusing, "What?"

"Olivia, just answer the question, please." Elliot said

"Well, eventually I tell you everything." Olivia said knowing that she has kept a lot of things from him. "Do you tell me everything?"

She redirected the question, this was not good. There was a couple of minutes of silence.

"Elliot?" Olivia said with question, "Do you tell me everything?"

She said that sentence with so much force, Elliot knew she was mad.

"No," Elliot said quietly.

There was a pause.

"Do you mean like you're keeping some things from me or that you don't tell me stuff I don't want to know?" Olivia asked

Elliot sighed, "Both."

Olivia's eyes started to get really moist, she looked out the window to avoid Elliot's gaze. He was the only man she ever trusted with everything but her whole heart. She was going to be mad but then she realized something, she was keeping him from the truth. She loved him and she had never told him before.

"What are you keeping from me?" She demanded, not really intending to.

She wanted to know so bad.

"I…I can't tell you." Elliot said solemnly.

* * *

**What is the secret? Reveiw to find out.**


	2. There is Nothing Left to Say

**Okay, I am starting a new tradition that I am going to do with my stories. I am going to post my favorite reveiw. I won't say who posted it though. If you don't want me to post your reveiw just put "don't post" at the bottom of the reveiw! Thanks!!**

**My Favorite Reveiw: Poor things... Trust is a two way street that neither seem to go down.**

**Thanks for reveiwing you guys are doing a great job!**

Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

Ashes and Wine

Chapter 2

There is Nothing Left to Say

"Why the hell not?" Olivia asked starting to get a little steamed.

"Okay," Elliot said defensively, "I will tell you, but you have got to swear to not tell anyone ."

"El," Olivia said thinking that he should trust her, "It's me."

"Liv, just promise." Elliot said with eyes that told Olivia he was serious.

She rolled her eyes, "I promise."

"I'm not who you think I am." Elliot began, "I really don't even know my real name. My parents said they adopted me illegally when I was fifteen, they couldn't afford to adopt a child legally. My dad had a friend of him make up my birth records, so I could get into things like school."

There was a moment of silence while Olivia let it sink in.

"Well, why didn't you tell me?" Olivia asked looking really confused.

"There is more," Elliot said, "Before I was adopted, I got a girl pregnant."

"You were fifteen!" Olivia said a little taken aback.

"Yeah, I know it was stupid." Elliot said, "She was in my illegal foster home, and she had already had sex, she was in love with me."

"Did you love her?" Olivia asked

"No," Elliot said

Olivia looked out the window, "You have a child."

"She's not really a child." Elliot said

"Yeah, she is like twenty five." Olivia said, "Five Stablers."

"Elliot, I still don't see why you waited eight years to tell me." Olivia said in a hushed tone, "Don't you trust me?"

"Olivia, I just didn't want anything to change." Elliot said

'_That's the problem.' _Olivia thought '_None of us want anything to change.'_

"So, now we tell each other everything?" Olivia asked

Elliot really was wishing that she wouldn't say that. Elliot has this weakness when it comes to Olivia, and every time he lies to her he feels guilty for a least a week. He absolutely hated to lie to her.

"I don't know, you have anything to tell me?" Elliot asked, taking the safe way out.

Olivia hated when he did that, redirected a question so he wouldn't have to answer it. It always put her in the hotspot, but he wasn't getting by with it this time.

"I asked you first, got anymore secrets, Stabler?" Olivia asked

"Olivia," Elliot protested, he really did not want to tell her his second secret.

"Elliot, you kept something from me. I tell you everything now answer my question!" She was serious and wasn't going to let up.

"Olivia, I'm not sure you want to know." Elliot said

"Is it sexual?" Olivia asked, a question so not like Olivia to ask but she wanted to know.

"Well no," he asked, loving her wasn't sexual, most of the time, not that he didn't think of it that way.

"Well…" Olivia said looking at him with an expression that said it's time to fess up.

"You really want to know?" Elliot asked trying to draw it out as much as possible.

He was hoping, with every fiber of his being, that the suspect would come home at that very moment so he wouldn't have to tell her.

"Elliot! Tell me!" Olivia said, she was persistent.

"I love you," Elliot said, the words just cascaded out of his mouth. He didn't even know he was going to say it until he did so.

Olivia blinked, "What?"

"Olivia, you don't have to say it back, you just…made me tell you, so I did." Elliot said trying to make it right.

Olivia wasn't looking at him. She was thinking, _'He loves you.'_

"Liv, please just say something." Elliot said

There was about a minute of nothing but noise from the street.

"I love you too." Olivia said, like it was a simple thing for her to say.

Elliot's mouth fell open a bit.

Olivia started to panic, this was so unprofessional. She opened the car door and walked out unto the sidewalk, trying to escape the huge mistake she just made.

"Olivia!" Elliot said, opening the car door, but then shutting it to avoid it getting hit by a passing car.

As soon as it passed he got out and ran for Olivia. He reached Olivia and turned her around.

"You can't do this." He said out of breath.

"I can't deal with this." Olivia said, refusing to look at him.

"Olivia, please, don't run away from this. I've wanted to know how you feel for so long." Elliot said holding her wrist gently.

His eye suddenly caught something behind her. It was the suspect, he was approaching his house.

"Hold that thought," Elliot said

Olivia looked up at him skeptically, that was the last thing she expected out of his mouth. Until she remembered what they were supposed to be doing.

Elliot was looking at the suspect who was unlocking his front door, not more than eight meters from where they were standing. He pushed past her and started up the steps.

* * *

They were in interrogation with that suspect for two hours. They needed a confession and weren't getting one. It was nearing four, they decided to take a break. They walked out of the interrogation room and Elliot shut the door.

"Flippin' Bastard." Elliot swore

Olivia ignored the comment and looked at him through the glass. Elliot found himself staring at her reflection in the mirror.

"Do you want to come to my house tonight?" Elliot asked, "Talk this out?"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Olivia said.

"Why not?" Elliot asked

"You know why," Olivia said

"Because we love each other?" Elliot asked, "And we need to know where we stand."

"No, because it could lead to something more." Olivia stated, "And as for where we stand, we can't be anything more than friends."

"How can we do that when we both know that we want so much more than that?" Elliot asked

"Excuse me?" a voice from the corner said

Olivia and Elliot both looked to the side of the room where the voice came from.

Cragen was standing there, arms folded across his chest.

* * *

**I hope you liked it. Review please!**


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